The Road to Assembly '93

This document contains my twenty-six plus page journey of the "Toxic Zombie"
Assembly '93 European tour.  This journal was started before the road trip
with sporadic notes jotted on the long drive from France to Finland.  The
conclusion was written a  couple weeks after I got back from Europe.  Guess I
got lazy about finishing.  Anyways, here is the FULL story:

7/22/93

PIPE DREAMS, broken roads, or a reality meant to be.  Sometimes I am caught up
in the uncertainty of life.  Like my quote at the end of the UNDEAD demo--
"Uncertainty in Life is Confusion in Reality."  Perhaps most don't grasp the
meaning of the statement.

Like this ASSEMBLY trip.  I have discussed it and recently have been
aggressive enough to plan it but the whole thing still remains uncertain to
me.  Like I may never make it.  This uncertainty is leading to confusion.  I
am confused about what I need to bring, if things will go as "planned," and
how to pursue my goal once I get to my starting country.  It is confusion at
its finest.  I can pretend it does not exist and even ignore it but that does
not make it go away.  Life has led to a road not easily followed like before--
being led through school and fed information only to re-use on a item called a
test.  And after all the leading and all the schooling the progression to work
leads to a new life where I start pulling the chain.  Only uncertainty has
lead me to question my direction.  Confusion sets in and the road ahead has
become gray.  The road to Assembly is somewhat like this.

TALKED about as somewhat of a joke I mentioned to my friend and group member
Pascal that we should go to Assembly '93.  He agreed and offered encouragement
to visit so we could attend together.  When I mentioned I could fly for "free"
he seemed to get more serious and encouraged me to visit even more.  I
discussed it at length with Pascal and decided to figure out a game plan with
him.  [For those who do not know me I always like to have a "plan" or things
"planned."  I am not very spontaneous.]

OUR trip would start with my arrival in Paris and go from there to Pascal's
house.  From there we would visit a friend in Dresden, Germany one day, find
our way to Sweden the next, and finally end up in Finland after taking the
night ferry.  This was all fine and dandy but would Pascal's car make it?

We sprang this idea on another member of our group and he mentioned he was
also interested in going to Assembly.  At first we both figure he was joking
since he was the jester type.  Things became more serious and to both of our
surprise Adam became another traveller.  By then plans were changing and we
were deciding how we would make our trip and where we would stay since it
takes a couple days to get to Finland.

MY attitude seems to be that just when things are going well something comes
along and changes everything.  I was hoping that would not happen here. 
Perhaps to subside my uncertainty about the situation more than anything else. 
But of course, something did go wrong.

About three weeks before the party Pascal informed me he could not go and we
had better stop discussing plans to attend.  Just before this point Adam and I
were ready to get our tickets and ride with Pascal.  This really put a damper
on the situation.  Without Pascal we would not have a car and with no car
Assembly would be impossible to attend.

Adam and I discussed the situation, changed the plans around and were now
ready to let Pascal know the new situation.  Pascal okayed the plan and
mentioned he could accommodate us at his place but could not travel with us to
Assembly mostly due to lack of money.  This saddened the situation because
Pascal is the reason we decided to attend Assembly.  Now, just a couple of
days till our arrival in Paris there is still items of uncertainty.  With all
this taking place over the internet replys can sometimes be a few days coming. 
Because of this our plans are constantly changing--where to stay, how to
travel and such.  Thus far we have not booked any car or ferry rides so we may
have problems though hopefully not.  Our situation is one of "make it up as
you go along."  This is not always the easiest environment to adapt to because
you never know if a road block will stop you and where it will occur.

PERHAPS I think too deeply about all this.  Considering we will be strangers
in a land with another language I tend to think not.  Being prepared is
important as is having a trusting companion.

MAYBE with that explanation and our "plans" you can sympathize with my
reluctance to tell many people of our trip.  It is kind of like the Space
Shuttle--it may go off and it may not.  The road to  Assembly is a bumpy one
and our destination, though known, is beyond the bounds of certainty.

7/23/93

A NEW day dawns and with it new questions arise concerning the trip.  It seems
Pascal's sister is a bit pregnant and won't be able to pick Adam up.  This
means Pascal will be pick Adam up with me stranded about an hour away in
another (older) airport.  Only a city apart yet an hour separates the
airports.  My plane arrives at 8:30AM while Adams arrives at 8:35AM at
airports on either side of the city.  It will be a learning experience.  

It is car rental time.  Today Adam and I discussed renting a car.  I believe
he "booked" us for the car.  We will have it 7 days for just over $250.  This
was the best deal we could get after calling around (I looked in some European
books to find Rental agencies).  It is a good idea to reserve it as well since
we will be more likely to have a car and one with a decent rate/charge.  A
person--Bart--from Belgium called today.  I was not home the first time he
called but my mom told him to call back in two hours.  So, two hours later
Bart did call and we discussed Assembly, transportation, and spending the
night.  It seems Bart is taking the Eurobus for around $265 round trip.  This
seems to be a pretty good deal however, if three people pooled the money
together they could rent a car, pay for gas and ferry rides and probably make
it within the same amount.  The ferry ride to Helsinki is the one I have a
feeling will cost us the most.  So, with slightly more than a day things are
shaping up.  Now, what about that job hunt when I get back?  Well, lets hope I
can keep my mind focused on the TRIP.  Can distractions be avoided?

7/24/93

Okay, here is a good place to list a temporary schedule I made up:

Mon 26:   Arrive in Paris.  Be at Pascal's place (80 miles).
Tue 27:   Rent car and go to Belgium to stay at Barts (120mi).
Wed 28:   Start drive to Sweden.  End up at Lohmanns, Lenaids, or Kristers.
(6-800 mi).
Thu 29:   Go to Stockholm and take Night Ferry to Helsinki. (250 mi.)
Fri 30:        Arrive in Finland and end up at Assembly.
Sat 31:   Assembly.
Sun 1:         Catch night ferry back to Sweden. (50 mi.)
Mon 2:    Drive to ? (3-700 mi.)
Tue 3:    Return Car and Back to Pascal's.  (3-700 mi.)
Wed 4:    ?
Thur 5:   Head back to states.

[As you will see this schedule did not live up to expectations.]

I noticed myself getting a little nervous about this trip.  Anytime a
situation calls for "nervous" or "worrying" you can bet I am one or both.  It
is one of those old habits you become brought up in because of your
parents/environment.

Becoming more aware is important.  I actually caught a glimpse of where my
uncertainty comes from.  Instead of my dad backing "us" in renting a car he
mentioned he though it was stupid.  In fact I think he feels this whole trip
is dumb.  Of course this negative reinforcement fucks with my brain causing
extreme self-doubt and thus has me questioning myself.  Now it is becoming
clearer why I can no live here.  No "backing" or positive reinforcement, no
encouragement, minimal motivation, and questioning of "situations."  

Believe it or not I can see some of these bad traits wearing off on the dog--
not the cats though.  For the dog I see no motivation, stubbornness, refusal
to listen, lazy, frightened, and dependent. This is a horror that needs to be
broken.

In less then 24 hours I hope to be on the plane to Europe or really
questioning my situation.  I will read my internet mail one more time before I
leave--around 9:30-10am.  It will be a long, tiring, and worrisome one also. 
What to do, where to go.  I wish I could break free from this mold.  Inner
strength, certainty, and a clear mind would certainly help.  Tomorrow...I will
need to keep relaxed.

7/25/93--Day 1

Todays the day.  I was nervous when I first woke up but feel calmer now. 
Especially after making the Newark flight.  Yes, I am here at the Nework
airport but no service rep was there when I got off the plane so I am really
unsure of where to go right at the moment.  But that does not matter much
because I still have four hours before my flight leaves.  

My parents took me to the Palm Beach Airport one flight before the "real"
connecting flight because all the flights were booked.  Welp, once again I
lucked out and made the flight--In first class though.  Thanks to the upgrade
coupons I made the flight otherwise I may not have.  First class was full.  I
think my parents were sad to see me leave--and when I got on the plane I was a
bit sad as well.  Anyways, it is time to figure out what the hell is going on
but first...I must mention what first class was like since it has been a long
time since I have been in 1st class.  They offered a pre take off drink,
salad, wine, full meal, cake, and then some after dinner liquor.  For my meal
I had grilled chicken.  It was cold but pretty decent.

Right now there is this annoying alarm going off--ah, finally it has stopped. 
Welp, time to move on and figure out what to do with my four hours before my
flight (which gate I have not located).

7/26/93--Day 2 [Written 7/28/93]

Ok, a couple days have passed since the last time I have written so I will now
update the log.  First off I will start where I left off and try to explain as
much as possible with detail.

Currently I am riding in the back seat of a car with Pascal and Adam.  We are
listening to Metallica.  So, with at least 3-4 hours of time of traveling
today I have lots of time to write--if the roads permit.

Back in the Newark Airport I discovered that I would not have to change
terminals--that is only for arrivals from foreign countries.  So, with a lot
of time on my hands I read (Rollins) and watched people.  I called my mom
after I got my ticket (seat 7B) and she was happy I did call mentioning I
should send a postcard when I get here--woopse, I have not done so yet.  On
the flight I sat in Business First (Continental Airlines).  The seats were
huge and all had a little TV (LCD) connected.  Since there was so much room
and I was sitting next to someone I was allowed to move.

Once again there was a large food selection--and they even passed out menus. 
But first, a set of movies came on the TV attached to the seat.  I started to
watch "The Crying Game" but quit after 15 minutes--it was too hard to follow
with the noise, head phones, and such.  I then turned to "Rainman" on another
station and watched about 1/2 hour of it.  

The road on the Autobahn was a bit rough for the last few miles so my
handwriting was quite bad in the above few paragraphs.

About the time I quit watching TV my meal was over.  It was a full three
course meal.  My main dish was chicken since it appealed to me the most. 
During the trip I drank about four cokes and one apple juice and only went to
the toilet once.  The main movie was "Scent of a Women" but I tried to sleep
through it.  In all I got about four hours of sleep that night  We circled
Orly and Paris, I got a few "sky shots," and then we landed.

At the airport--Orly--we got off the plane the old fashion way--down stairs. 
We then hopped on a bus, walked a hallway and gave a deport card and showed
our passport.  Very lenient customs.  When I got to the baggage area the
luggage was already arriving--great.  At first I lugged my baggage around then
I noticed everybody using carts--FOR FREE--so I grabbed a cart and went to
where I felt Pascal and Adam might arrive.  After about 45 minutes I decided
to ask someone.  The lady said to go to Gate R.  So, I went to Gate R and
there were about 1,000 people standing in lines and people arriving at gate R. 
My next decision was to ask someone else.  This time the lady said cars can
not come to pick people up at the airport--go to the meeting place near Gate
H.  So, at Gate H I sat and waited for about an hour.

Since I did not know what either Adam or Pascal looked like I looked for two
people holding a "Assembly" sign.  At about 10:45am I spotted Pascal and Adam. 
Pascal was tall, thin, and wore glasses where Adam was bearded and a little
heavier.  We walked to Pascal's car, put my luggage in and were off to PARIS.

TO PARIS:

Pascal, Adam and I then arrived in downtown Paris.  After seeing a bit by
driving around we parked in an underground garage.  Then we walked Paris.  We
took some side roads and made our way to a bank where I cashed $40 and lost
about $4.50 due to service charges.  Oh well.  Adam and I then found a
bathroom--which cost 2 Franc!  Yes, it cost money to use the toilet in France-
-Paris.  Everything cost money here!  As Yurgen later said--nothings free. 
After the bathroom we saw some of the city, took pictures and at a place in
the center of the city which ended up being pretty crowded.  I had "la quiche
de lorrine"--or something similar.  It tasted like the Ham rolls my mom makes-
-good.  From the restaurant we proceeded off to a big Arch.  There we rested
and after trying to walk to the Eiffel Tower we gave up and took the subway. 
Yes, we sorta got miss directed.  We found that there was a long line so
decided to skip the tower for the time.  Once we found Pascal's car--no easy
task-- we drove around Paris--got lost--and finally made our way out and were
off to AMIENS and the city where Pascal lives.  In AMIENS we stopped at a
grocery store--Super Machette (sp?)--and got some juice, cereal, milk, bread,
and soda.  We arrived in Pascal's village and saw his old, new, and sisters
house.  All very nice but much older houses then what I am use to.  Dinner was
not until 8:30-9:00pm because I remember finishing at about 9:30pm when it was
starting to become dark.  We ate soup, salad, potatoes, some "pig" stuff-spicy
like sausage--and drank some wine and cider.  For their dinner they (Pascal's
family) eat a lot of bread and never use condiments (butter, ketchup,
jelly...).  Also, soup, wine and no napkins were custom.  Very small glasses
were used to drink water, wine and such.  Another funny thing was the dish
used for soup was also used for dinner--no flat plates.  At Pascal's house
they grow a lot of their own food and have Chickens, pigeon, rabbits, and
such.  No fresh milk here--like we have.  I tried some very strong liquor--
cognac--for the end of the day we went to Pascals sisters to see some demos. 
We retired our second day (of trip, 1st in France) at about 11:30pm.  I slept
on the floor since there was not much room in the double bed.

7/27/93--Day 3

I woke up sometime after 9am and took a shower.  Today was one of those days
where everything that could go wrong did.

By the time things picked up it was time for lunch.  At lunch we had chicken--
apparently from the farm; Pascal's dad took the head and neck for his plate--
more bread, and of course, wine.  At about 2pm things started picking up--
people were back from lunch in France.  We got through to the American car
rental company and found Adams car rental was cancelled.  Shit!  So, we went
through the process again.  By the end of the process and about four phone
calls to the states (via Adams US WEST phone card) we had a car ready.  Of
course it was not the right one--a little bigger and more costly.  A Renault! 
We picked up the car after 4pm--3 hours after I wished but...We made it back
to Pascal's place and packed our stuff while Pascal checked with his dad to
see if he could go.  Yes, after all the saying Pascal may not go he is  now
going.  I suspect because we rented a bigger car and he told his dad Adam and
I would split the cost.  I took a driving lesson and did okay but am not to
well in the lower gears where the car may stall.  I stalled the car a few
times so...it is a good thing Pascal is going to help drive.  By 7pm I called
Yurgen in Belgium at a cost of 7.70 Franks for about 3 minutes.  He said it
would be okay to visit and crash at his place so we told him sometime around
10-11pm.  Yurgen, YNOS, was someone I met through the internet.

Since it was now near dinner time and Pascal had to pack we decided to eat
dinner with Pascals parents.  This time we had the chicken from lunch--but
cold--more wine, soup, water, bread and some cake bread.  By 8:30pm, I think
we were off to Belgium--AARST (1 Hour NW of Belgium).  In town I called Yurgen
and he drove to where we were (Fox Pub).  The phone call cost some money--
Yurgen later asked and Pascal wondered why I did not pay.  I assumed it was
free but Pascal later informed me nothing in Europe is free.

Yergen arrived in a nice tan Mitsubishi (sp?) Gallant--even nice for American
standards.  He told us we could not stay at his place but rather at his
friends--Hans.  So, at 11:30pm Yurgen took us to Hans.  Only thing was Hans
was not home.  Shit.

To kill time Yurgen decided to show us where the other people I chatted/talked
to lived.  We visited Buster's house whose dad is some "vice-mayor!"  They
lived in downtown AALST.  They also run the Buster BBS--biggest demo BBS in
Belgium.  Next was Barts house.  Bart is a VSW member (cracker) and runs a big
Pirate board in Belgium.  His dad is a doctor and he had a very nice place as
well. By the time we got back it was 12:30am and Hans was nowhere to be found.

7/28/93--Day 4 [AALST Belgium]

Yurgen gave us some chocolate and showed us his house so we could visit before
we left for Denmark.  When we came back it was near 1am and Hans was still
nowhere to be found.  All four of us chatted until about 1:30am at which time
I suggested Yurgen go and we would wait for Hans.  So, we slept/rested in the
car for an hour and then decided to pitch the tent Adam brought.  By 3:00am we
had our car parked in Han's driveway and a tent pitched near Hans's garage. 
Hans never showed up!  So, at 7:30am after about 4-5 hours of ok sleep--Pascal
said he did not sleep--we woke up packed our stuff and headed toward Yurgens.

Since we told Yurgen we would drop by around 8am we assumed he expected us. 
Luckily he was there so we stayed for an hour, ate, drank, used the bathroom,
and listened to some MODS.  Yurgen had a very expensive computer--386, with
14.4k modem, CD Rom, Optical 120 MB drive, 250 MB Tape backup and 840 Megs of
Hard Drive space.  Just after 9am we left Yurgens.  I gave him a copy of my
magazine; he gave Adam some beer!  Unfortunately we got lost in Brussels,
Belgium looking for the highway.  We circled the city as least once and ended
up losing over an hour because of it.  Once out of Brussels it was smooth
sailing up until Koln, Germany where we took a wrong turn again.  We ended up
on some back roads heading toward Boun but got corrected before we really got
lost.

One thing we have noticed is there are no boarder guards between countries. 
Well, at least that is how it has been through Germany and Belgium.  We have
purchased gas twice so far today.  I did the first using my VISA and Pascal
did it next using his VISA--be he got cash from a machine with his VISA.  Yea,
gas is very expensive--about $3.50 a gallon we figure.

Our lunch/dinner was at a pizza type place in Bremen.  We almost got lost
there as well but...Thanks to Pascals VISA he got 100 DM and we were able to
eat some hogie type stuff.  We used an English/German dictionary of Adams to
figure out a little bit before we ordered.  During my writing we passed
Hamburg and are now on our way to enter Denmark.  We are not sure where we are
going to stay as of yet--8:00pm.  We figure Alborg where I know someone or
Frederikchaven or we may take the Ferry tonight.  Who knows...we will see as
we go.

7/29/93

We made our way to Alborg where we got some gas--as expensive as Germany--and
also attempted to call someone I chatted with through internet mail.  We went
to a gas station to call but had no Danish money.  After explaining we could
give only German or other money he let me use the stations phone.  Well, it
was about 11:15pm and no one answered at Jens place so it looked like we had
no place to go.  On learning that we decided to take off for Frederikshavn to
catch a Ferry.
