THE GIFT

 The following is a story I wrote around the summer of 1992.  It appeared in
 a  little "zine" (i.e. underground magazine) I was doing at the time. 
 About 100 copies of the zine were printed.  This was the LAST story on the
 last pages of the fifth and final zine I published.  Being one of my
 favorite stories I feel it is a good way to go out, even though it is not
 considered "demobook" material.  I hope you can look beyond my hints of
 arrogance and grasp the true meaning of this story.
 
 Once upon a time there was an old man who looked like he had spent the best
 years of his life doing hard labor.  He sort of looked like a drifter with
 a hint of meanness to his eyes.  This old man was the giver of a special
 gift.  So special was this gift that it will have to be capitalized for the
 rest of this story to emphasize its importance.  Now the GIFT was not any
 ordinary gift like the one drawn to the right [imagine a wrapped box] or a
 gift which someone receives for Christmas.  The GIFT, which the old man had
 control over, was a special GIFT.  OH, and there was a boy about nine years
 old.  There was nothing special about him as he could be just like you or
 like you.  For this story neither of them have names since they are like
 someone you might know or like me but they are probably not you.  Well, I
 can see this story getting out of hand already so I am going to cut through
 all the bullshit intro stuff and begin.
 
 One stormy Summer day a boy just happened to duck under the old man's porch
 to avoid the pounding rain which seemed to hover over the old man's house. 
 The old man, sitting on the porch, saw the boy and told him he had a GIFT. 
 "What gift?"  The boy questioned not knowing it was a special GIFT.  "I
 don't see any gift."  The old man laughed for a second and then began to
 explain.  "You see, my GIFT is capitalized and yours is not!"  But actually
 the guy did not say that, what he said was:  "You see boy, every once in a
 great while I have the responsibility of giving someone a special GIFT. 
 OH, it's nothing secret or sacred mind you.  In fact, at times it is
 completely useless.  When in use it gives you the power to accomplish just
 about anything.  However, to keep from being abused the GIFT only works
 under certain circumstances."  "You mean," the boy interrupted "it's like a
 selfish gift with an ulterior motive?"  "Smart boy!, The answer is yes and
 no.  The gift is something special giving you the ability to excel at
 certain tasks.  It will be like you don't even have any GIFT because you
 will become attracted to whatever it is because of your choice.  If the
 GIFT see's this trade, hobby, or what have you as doing certain good it
 will allow you to excel beyond what you might normally be accustom to.  For
 example,  say you wanted to be a baseball player and the GIFT saw this as
 doing good.  Well, it would allow you to hit say .300 as opposed to .200" 
 "Ah, that is great!  I've always wanted to be a baseball player, but what
 is the catch?" bellowed the boy.  "There always has to be a catch huh.  You
 ARE pretty smart for a nine year old but I'm surprised you did not figure
 out the catch.  That is why the GIFT is slightly selfish.  Say you are that
 baseball player hitting .300 and the GIFT decides it has completed its
 task, or in other words your batting .300 has caused something important
 and good to happen.  A sort of change in the future."  "Like what?" the boy
 interrupted.  "Well," replied the old man.  "The future can change on a
 dime, perhaps what you were doing with the GIFT in affect saved someones
 life or made someone happier or wealthier somewhere.  The possibilities are
 infinite but you can be sure of one thing and that is the GIFTS purpose is
 goodness.  The "best for all" type goodness.  So once whatever it is
 happens and the GIFT decides it is not needed anymore it sort of takes back
 the extra "talent" it gave you."  "So then I'm batting .200 I figure."
 "Yep, back to what you were without the GIFT."  "Well, that doesn't seem
 very fair" the nine year old responded. "OH, but to think you would never
 had the chance to play baseball without the GIFT.  This way you get to
 play, you live a little more."
 
 "Okay old man, how do I know when to use this GIFT?" "Why I think you are
 starting to understand after all--you have started to capitalized.  That is
 and easy question to answer though.  Like I said before, you do whatever
 you want and if the GIFT sees it as doing good it exploits your talents and
 helps you do better than you might normally be able to.  You will be jack
 of all trades if you wish."  "Yea, jack of all trades and master of none"
 the boy wallowed.
 
 "Kid, you've got a lot to learn.  There are may people out there with
 NOTHING--no gift, no motivation, no luck, no brains, and some with no home. 
 The gift will help provide you with all of the above and more.  Education,
 no problem.  You will have enough motivation to get a Ph.D. because the
 GIFT realizes education means knowledge and knowledge, as we all know,
 means power.  Your brains will give you whatever you want and take you
 wherever you want to go.  And if by chance you don't want to go somewhere
 physically you can go mentally through your wonderful mind.  You have the
 POWER!  As for luck?  The gift will occasionally draw you towards certain
 tasks.  You will think you discovered something by sheer luck but in fact
 it will be because you have the GIFT."
 
 "Could there actually be anything that I am really good at and enjoy doing
 without the help of this GIFT?"  the boy asked.  "Well, everyone is good at
 something THEY say.  If you really knew what it was you wouldn't have the
 fun/experience trying to figure out what it was now would you?  It is sort
 of like a puzzle.  If it were already completed it would not be any fun. 
 The fun is in the solving of the puzzle.  One fourth the fun is starting,
 half the fun is in the "doing," and the other fourth is in seeing the
 results.  If you start at the top you can only go down. What fun is there
 in that?  So stick with your gut feelings, why pass all kinds of
 experiences to jump into something you know you will like only to become
 bored with later down the road.  Perhaps with all the experiences in your
 past you will enjoy your "real" talent that much more.  If you jumped into
 your real talent right off the bat then it would be useless for me to give
 you the GIFT.  You are who you want to be and if you want to be a "nobody,"
 and I'm not saying that's bad, and waste the GIFT then that is your choice. 
 My advice is to go out and do what you might normally do and have fun doing
 it.  If memory serves me correct then that is what life is all about
 anyways.  The GIFT will kick in when needed, trust me."  With that the
 storm settled and the boy ran home to tell his folks about his GIFT.
 
 Ten odd years later the boy happened to cross the same mans path in a city
 far from his original home.  The man looked the same as when the boy had
 last seen him.  It was almost as if time stood still or the guy had half a
 dozen face lifts.  "Excuse me sir," the young man said as he neared the
 man.  "Are you the man who gave me a special gift many years ago?" The man
 looked confused and replied "I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?"  No,
 actually he replied "Why yes, I do remember you.  So tell me, what have you
 been up to these past several years?"
 
 The boy then listed his many talents and accomplishments.  Mentioning often
 that there were a few depressing times, especially during his educational
 years.  "OH," the old man who did not seem so old responded "with the good
 there is usually the bad.  Depression is never very far away in today's
 world.  It is just something we have to live with.  Perhaps it is a sign to
 move on." the man said while winking. "Well," the boy who was now a young
 adult replied "I'm currently publishing my own magazine and need some 100
 more words to fill up some space.  I fell I have lost something and perhaps
 it is time to MOVE on as you say.  Could you maybe be so kind and offer
 some worldly advice to motivate me enough to complete my task?"  "Hum, the
 old man though awhile and then spoke the following before leaving."
 
 "We live in a world where both good and bad walk a fine line.  What is good
 one day could be bad the next and vice versa.  Everyone draws the line
 differently on what they believe is right and wrong.  Laws change, people
 change (well...), the world changes.  Make sure you do the best with what
 you have, be glad you have that much and by all means don't be intimidated
 by what others are doing or want YOU to do.  You'll be happier being who
 you are--why change.  Like Popeye says, "I am what I am."  And the GIFT I
 gave you, tis only a story.  You are your own gift and a strong mind will
 help you make the most of what talents you do have.  So long then matey."
 