adam johnson
by goat
411>
legal name: max power
aliases: 'get out of the way'
'im sorry the test results are positive for gonorrhea'
age at birth: cheese food
current weight: 100.5lbs on a bad day....
100.3lbs when i skip my morning cracker.
ideal weight: somewhere in between 25 to 98.3 pounds would be acceptable
ideal romantic weekend: 3 trimmed poodles, jiffy peanut butter and a can of corn beef hash
would you have sex with a man if he looked like a women and had female genetalia?
i refuse to make a baby with you.
what artists are currently challanging the status quo of your pants?
pub gets me all 'hot & bothered.' besides that...markus guentner, jonas bering, casino vs. japan, deadbeat and all.
have you ever knowingly danced with a man?
yes, and i enjoy wearing edible panties made completely of fruit roll-ups (cherry). believe it or not, they're a big hit with the 'over 70' crowd.
can you name the black guy in police academy who did the all cool sound effects with his mouth? and if so, why?
no, but everytime i cranked house music when i was young my dad would say that it was straight outta the blue oyster club scene from police academy. hott.
turn on the charm: describe yourself (picture me having big soft tits if it helps)
im a cross in between keifer sutherland and chris farley.
now describe your music, dazzle me chief
happy meal and a shamrock shake
what ever happened to: panty raids?
what are panties?
laser tag?
we 'meat' every thursday at lava links behind mortal kombat 2
the whole cast from night court?
who do you think does those 'girls gone wild' videos????
what asspect of your music gives you the most pleasure? the hoochie hoes?
the part where i give up and turn on QVC to see what Turkish yataghan sword with a 57cm single edged, T-shaped cross-section blade i'll be adding to my collection that particular evening.
i have this theory called "my beatbox boner theory" that says eveyone gets wood over their first drum machine, what was your first beat box, and how painfully stiff did it get you at the time?
well, it burns a little and sometimes when i pee, it feels like im getting stabbed in the lower abdominal region with a hot poker.
do you part your ball hair? how? in the middle? to the side?
nope....tight curls and a slick pony-tail. when i go out to the clubs i do corn-rows.
why is it wrong to call pres bush a smirking chimp? a. he's our leader and demands respect even through he probably wears adult diapers
b. he good has controll over his motor functions for someone whose devoted so much of his life to booze and cocaine
c. he's partialy illiterate and cant read good
d. it offends chimps who smirk
no, i don't think its proper to trim your bush on the first date.
finnish these sentences:
i once laughed so hard
.... i got crabs.
the only reason i'd charter a private bus would be
... to go on tour to pitch my new sponsor.....sunless tanning lotion for your nice ricotta ass.
i bet human flesh tastes less like chicken, and more like
... salad shooters.
were you the kid on the playground that burnt ants with a magnifying glass or the one whose pissed his pants?
i once spit a mouthful of fruit roll-up in a friends face during recess. it was very, avant-garde.
were you the kid in middle school who kept melted choclate in his pocket as an alibi?
no, i was the kid in middle school who kept poo in his pocket as an alibi.
fill in the blank: i was the kid in high school who'd
.... play any old tune on the skin flute for an A.
what was your first set up and how long did it take before you realized it wasnt cutting it?
it was a g4 tower.....it took 15 minutes. then i slashed my heels as a constant reminder of my failure.
artsy puke question: how does new 3rd design inspire new musical ideas?
shut up.
what political "hot spot" in the world would you most like to play?
on a fishing boat off the coast of north korea.
what (non-musical) trend would you be happy as having been credited with
a. starting? tight rolling your pants
b. riding mankind of? turtle mocha's
what were you listening to in:
1982?
yelling, lots of yelling. please make it stop.
1992?
suicidal tendencies, minor threat, napalm death
1993?
gwar, helmet, ministry, depeche mode and the soundtrack to miami vice.
jake mandell came up with a really funny alternative name for idm, come up with areally funny name for him_
'ye ole shiny shirt'
what recent mainstream song makes you feel unclean for liking it?
missy elliot-'work it'
if you could be canadian for one day, what would you spend the day doing?
pumping iron & eating.
would you have sex with a pay toilet if it looked like women and had female genetalia?
yes. sounds hot....tell me more about yourself
make a list of stupid shit you'd do if you were sure nobody'd see you doing them
no.
one of these is false, which one?
a. scott baio was engaged to pamela anderson
b. first lady laura bush killed someone
c. boxing promoter don king killed someone
d. janet reno has a second, detachable scrotum filled entirely with bees
tsss, everyone knows that bob killed laura palmer.
desribe the joys of engrish to someone whose never experienced their joys
'take a bite of the mouse-watering, tasty chicken sandwich, take a lot of benefits along with it'
if you were a rapper circa 1989, what might you;ve called yourself?
mc pearl necklace
desribe your ideal live set experience
denim jumpsuits and pop rocks.
is there any reason people shouldnt clasp yr nuts n bolts with their teeth while proclaiming you the new fresh prince?
man, my answers stink.
adam johnson website